Being True to Your Art

Monet in Pasadena

Growth as an artist has never come with gentle ease. It has always come with an in-your-face wave of frustration that make me change direction. I am facing that right now. It’s time. I have felt it coming on, but was so busy with traveling and teaching that it was easy to overlook the obvious.

I just got back from a week in the Hill Country of Texas or, for you non-Texans, San Antonio. It's a beautiful part of the state looks like El Dorado Hills in places, except for the humidity and cowboys.  I received an email when I got there from a friend asking me if I got a call from Houston IQA? Surely, she wrote, those 2 quilts got an award.  No I haven’t, I wrote back, is this the week? Then one of the girls in the guild I was lecturing at said she had seen my quilts on my blog and that I must have gotten a call.  No, I didn’t. I went to the next guild and was asked the same thing again. Your quilts are amazing and you didn’t get a call? No, I didn’t get a call! The call. The call?



...and Our Flag was Still There

I didn’t get a call. Yes, it was a little disappointing. It has made me stop and think about my art. But then I realized, with a big exclamation point, that I am doing art, not quilting. There is a big difference. And I am teaching art, not quilting and I am showing my art in my lecture, not my quilting. That my art has even been in these shows is a fluke. The quilting world is one of the first venues that recognized my art work. When I had my first gallery show it was me and a watercolorist together as equals, 2 artists creating flowers. 

Maybe I have outgrown my viewing field. It has been a wonderful and safe place, but maybe it doesn’t fit any more. The quilting world is changing and so am I. That is the way it’s supposed to be as a growing artist. Change hurts and is uncomfortable. Do you remember, as a child, having growing pains in your legs? I had those really bad as a tall girl. I am having them again and I am feeling the pain and that pain is making me reassess my path.


Folsom City Gallery

As an artist you are competing with yourself all the time. I am always trying to create something better with each piece I make. I have never let competition with other quilters interfere with my art. I found that doing that robs me of my creativety. Are you just running for the prize, or the next best work of art?  In the quilting world you are competing not only with other wonderful quilters, but also with the next best sewing machine, the greatest wonder thread, the next fabulous technique that comes with 6 new products we all have to have and so on. It really isn’t conducive to pure creativity.  I have tried to protect myself from that. I might have slipped a little.

First gallery show at  Shelburne Museum in Vermont

So let's grow and go for it. I discover wonderful things about myself with every quilt I make. I am stretched, tested and pushed by these works. I am attached to them because of what I discovered about myself while creating them. I don’t need an award to know they are good and meaningful.

My art on the same grounds as Mary Cassatt. Wow!

I fell into the trap we all need to avoid.  Did I want to value my art and self by what awards I received (or didn't) or by what a judge said?  Absolutely not.  Remember that the critics did not like Van Gogh's brush strokes.  He turned out OK.

These 2 quilts where made because they had to come out as they where monumental points in my life, not for others to judge my stitching. That's the difference between art and quilting. It is disappointing to not have won anything but I will get over it.  And I have.  I teach this all the time and now I have to remember my own advice: You lose part of your creativity when you make a piece of art for a show or competition. Be true to the art and make it because you have to, for you!  I am proud to say I did that with these 2 art quilts.

I read an artist blog called The Painter Keys by Robert Glenn;  Today he had quotes from artist Harley Brown that reminded me of what is important in my art.

3 of my favorite qoutes from Harley Brown:
Look for and make your opportunities happen; they are not going to come rushing up to your doorstep. But sometimes they'll be looking you right in the face.

If art takes up much of the artist's time, then it makes sense that she/he be 'lost' in the euphoria of creating. Isn't that one of our ultimate purposes in life?

Without underestimating the value of talent, it's not the most important attribute you need to become a successful artist. It's not even second. More important than talent is desire. 

I couldn't have said it better.

Today's Garden

Today's garden was soft and quiet. The light was just perfect to snap these wonderful shots. Its going to be 100 degrees today and looks like it could rain but right now there is a cool breeze blowing. We have the doors open and the air feels so fresh.

My 8 little pumpkins are almost ready to pick. You can tell that fall is around the corner. Makes me feel like Martha Stewart.  It's fun to hear the neighbors say with suprise, as they walk by,  Look - she has pumpkins!  I have promised a pumpkin to each of the 4 little kids that live next door.  They are so cute. I hope the Great Pumpkin comes this year - I will be here waiting in my patch.

My garden has always been an inspiring retreat. It's not perfect by any means but the beauty of things growing seems to keep me grounded.  I can't help but see God's hand in every corner.  I am so grateful for this little yellow house.

This is the time of year I start to think about my next creation.  I wander throught the garden almost every day before I go to the studio.  I study my photos and look for something that moves me.  Today, the reflection in the bird bath caught my eye and those big creamy roses.

The moring glories are overtaking the climbing rose bushes. You can hardy walk throught the garden gate without them wrapping around you, too.  Soon this hardy vine will die back to nothing come winter. 

Then, next summer, they will return to overtake the yard again. I did a quilt in 2005 of this vine dominating the fence. Its called Afternoon Glory because the flowers turn a different color in the afternoon - they are light blue in the moring and lavender in the afternoon.

We have 2 bird feeders. These little finches let me walk right up to them and snap there picture. Joe has all the birds and turkeys in our yard named and trained.

Yes, I said turkeys!  Do you think it's time for me to get Joe another dog?  This is Tom.  He actually calls to Joe for his food.  Yes, Tom has trained Joe.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of 9/11 and I wanted to remember it in my garden, next to nature. Our world changed that day forever. Even living on the west coast our family was very much affected.  My only son is now a Marine. He was 14 that day. We all seemed to change our priorities. We need to remember how precious our country is and how what we value can be taken away in an instant.

This moring in the peace of the garden, I prayed for the famlies in my neighborhood, in our country and the world.  And I prayed for young men and women whose lives and futures where forever changed that day .

Like most people, I get caught up in this busy world of hustle and bustle, too, but let's us never forget 9/11 and remember to give thanks in the peace of our gardens.  And if you don't have your own garden, please come and use mine.

They’re Off!

...and Our Flag Was Still There

 The quilts that I have been working on for the last 2 years are off to Houston.  Thank God. There were times I didn’t think I would every get them done.   Not that I didn’t want them done, just the opposite.  It was finding the time to quilt them which has been my problem.

Monet In Pasadena

You see, I am finally making somewhat of a living doing my art. This is a dream come true.  Most artists have to die before there is any market for their art.  Not me, I thought.  I will teach and lecture and that will offset my fabric habit.  But I forgot one important thing – with teaching and lecturing comes the loss of time to do my art. 

 I have so over booked myself this year with traveling the circuit that I have not had that precious time to just be creative and I can’t live without being creative.  I get very depressed if I go too long without studio time.  And maybe money is overrated, anyway.   Joey may not like this but next year will be different and balance will be my theme.

 The green clamps are holding the weight of the quilt off the table.

But the most exciting news is while I was rushing to get my quilts stitched I invented a pulley system to hold the weight of my big quilts while I am quilting them.   I have had this idea ever since I saw a contraption that Carol Bayer Fallert uses.  I think she said it was for lifting patients out of bed so you could do God knows what to them in the hospital or at home.  I’m not sure where to get one of those devices so I had to improvise.  This was also project weekend for Joe.   Someone in our family, while flushing the toilet, dropped her glasses that were on her head down the potty as the water was swirling. Oops!  So off to Home Depot with Joe I went.  I told him about my pulley ideas and he still wanted to help me but only after he snaked out the potty first.  That was only fair.

On our list was:  2 pulleys, 2 eye hooks, yards of rope cording, the type used for making clotheslines, and 2 hand spring clamps. Oh yeah, we also needed a snaky thingamajig for the toilet.

Once home, Plumber Joe, not to be confused with Electrician Joe, Gardner Joe, Pool Boy Joe, Car Detailer Joe, Accountant Joe, Web Master Joe or Tree Trimmer Joe, went into action. First he asked me if I wanted the glasses back. I said I don’t think so.  He then extended the snaky line and jammed it down the hole.  Then he tried to pull it back out and it wouldn’t budge.  It was stuck.  I offered some helpful advice and was told to get out of the room.  What? A loving wife can’t offer guidance?  I mean, without me we wouldn’t even be enjoying this time together.



Then I heard more of what sounded like a tug of war with the snake and the commode.  And then this cracking sound and those wonderful words   I think I got it, followed by the most magical flushing sound.   Joe then announced that he had just saved us $200 and all the aerobic exercise that goes along with a 2 story home with no working toilet on the ground floor. As he was winding up his trusty snake, he wondered if he could return the snake and get his $50 back as it was hardly used and the blockage it freed was made of glass and plastic, not that other stuff.  I said I didn’t think that was a good idea.



Now to the studio we went.  Joe was feeling quite manly and ready to tackle my project.  

The Pulley

Here are some pictures of the pulley system.  It really is pretty simple and it works. My quilts are very heavy because of all the fabrics and thread.  

Hooks in the beam on the ceiling.

In my Monet in Pasadena quilt I used 6300. yards of thread @ $4 per spool.  That works out to $125.  just in thread, not including all the half used spools still left. 

 That is a lot of money but it’s worth it.  On both of these quilts I used a dark solid backing fabric to show my thread work on the back.  It shows all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly.  It’s like a painting in thread and I love it. I also use at least 33 different colors of Sulky Rayon 30 weight thread.  My new favorite sewing needle is Superior's Titanium Top Stitch needle, size 80/12.

 Look for them at IQA in Houston and ask a Quilting Angel to turn the quilt over so you can see the thread painting on the back.

Gotta run.   Joe is now talking about trimming trees in the front yard.  OMG!



I feel yucky...

It’s a sick day today.  I just got home from 2 weeks of nonstop teaching and lecturing.  I have completely overbooked myself to the point that there is no time to even change my sweaty teaching clothes or do my hair before the evening lecture.  And I was in Houston, Texas and they are having an out of control heat wave, of course.   So I caught a cold and felt miserable the whole time.  But the show must go on.   Thank God I love what I do even when I am so sick.  At one point, when I had lost my voice and found out there was no microphone(!) I did think about running from the room screaming.  But then I would have had to stand outside in the heat and humidity and that was not an option.

One of my 3 hostesses, Linda, took me to the drug store where I bought cold meds, boxes of tissues and a hair clip because my hair was starting to puff out as my nose got redder and the humidity was reaching 89%.  And this was only day #1.

At one point, as I was going back to my room after breakfast,  I couldn’t remember my room number. I was in different hotels every day.  Was it room 220 or 507 or now where am I???  The thought of asking the front desk what my room number was was very humbling.

But I made it, barely. Then, on the last night something special happened that made it all worth the runny nose, the sweaty clothes, the bad hair and losing my voice.  I think I touched someone special. Artists can touch people with their art. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it shakes up your mind and head.  But that is not what I am talking about.  My lecture meant something to an 11 year old boy who was there with his grandmother that night at the guild meeting.

Again, we had mic problems and my throat was so sore. Thank God Ginger drove me through a Sonic to get a giant cherry lime aid before the meeting. It was like mother’s medicine. I found out that I was to go on after the break which is when most people leave. I don’t understand why a quilt guild that is paying big bucks to bring me there has me lecture at the end after the Show & Tell and when everyone is tired. At one guild recently they had 25 Show & Tells before the break and me. That meant that I also was not going to get out of there until 10:30.  But this night the Show & Tells went fast and it was my time. I was worried still about the mic and had an idea right before I was introduced.

My idea fixed the mic problem. Now, could they handle my raspy voice from this darn cold?   God, give me the strength to go on is what I prayed in the ladies bathroom.    It was a warm and receptive group, I could see. There were about 250 at the meeting that night. I talked about how I got from there to here and the struggles I had gone through as a child and adult. This is my art.  I talk about overcoming my dyslexia and the labels people put on you as a kid but that I was always thinking like an artist from the very beginning. It just didn’t fit in a school system.  But it’s what makes me creative and how when you accept how you are this helps our creative process and helps us define our art.  Then I end with my 3 minute movie that I have made showing my artwork and my path. It’s set to music and always gets a great response.  Then the trip is over.  I can now go home and fall in the arms of my loving man.

But,, as I am talking to the ladies at the end of the nigh,t I see this young man of 11 walk up to me. Behind him is his grandmother. She says he has something to say to me.  He tells me that he also has dyslexia. My heart jumps as I run around the table that is separating us.  He was so cute and brave. I gave him a big hug and I saw the smile on his face and then looked in his eyes and I told him You have been given a great gift. You are going to do great things in the world - you will just do them in a different way.  That is what is going to make you successful. You can do anything you want to do - you will just figure out a different way to get there. Don’t let anyone stop you. I hugged him again and he nodded his head like he already knew it. I saw his grandmother turn and walk away.  Later, in the car, Ginger told me she was crying. This is why I do what I do. Not to win awards, although the awards get me the jobs.  I have a life I want to share with others - a life that has been hard and rewarding.  A life I could have easily given up and tossed away if I had believed for one moment what people labeled me. I always knew that God had his hand in this. Artists are right-brained thinkers, which is where all creativity comes from.  Schools are mostly left-  brained and humans are ignorant.

There was a book I bought that is called The Gift of Dyslexia. I never read past the title and preface but the title said it all to me. I still have that book and to anyone who wants to listen to a very creative woman who has been given a gift, a runny nose and a voice that today sounds like Suzanne Pleshette on the Bob Newhart Show,  I’m here and have a story to tell.

Tea For Tulips

 Getting ready for another trip, this time to Texas. Today is folding pattern day.  As I was folding this pattern I thought I needed to give it some long over due respect. This is a great design and hardly any one knows about it. So today I am showing off my Tea For Tulip quilt design.

 Yes, it is hand, needle turned, applique and quilted by little old me.

 The original was made for a line of fabric that Quilters Corners got in.  I designed the pattern to go with the line of fabric.  I think it was in 2006?  This one was done just for me and in my colors at the time.  I think I might do it again in today colors.

 Later I added the stacked tea cups, which was not apart of the original pattern, its a new addition.  If you want this easy applique pattern, here is a link to my shop.  It $12.00  Have fun with it and send me a picture.

Green is a Neutral!

I’m finishing up my week of hand-dyeing.  I did a lot of over-dyeing to get some new colors and designs. I wish I had more time or maybe a twin.  But then again, Joe would probably freak out with 2 of me in the house - he can barely handle one.  Yesterday we folded patterns which inevitably means running out of Ink.  Why the printer runs out of yellow ink when you are only printing black is still a mystery to me. 

Did you know that green is a neutral and has the power to make or break your quilt?  Over the past 4 years I have observed my students working with green and found that the wrong shades of green can visually drain your quilt of its color power.  

 Today, as I am washing and pressing my green fabrics, I thought I would give you the secret to a knock-your-socks-off quilt.  It’s in the greens.

To demonstrate this theory I have my students focus on just their flower petal colors first.  They get them working together perfectly.  How do you know if it’s right?   You either get a feeling of AHHHH or YUKKKK!  I know this is deep stuff.  When the student feels happy with it, then we find the best background fabric.  Here is how I have my students think like an artist.  When we lay that flower on the background fabric they brought, 50% of the class will change their mind about that background fabric that they thought was perfect.   Why didn’t that fabric work?   What they thought at home was great changes in class when they see how their flower is coming along.  This is OK.  Artists change their minds all the time.  It’s not a failure to change your mind. It’s the path to success!

Color is a science, a chemical reaction which happens when the colors touch each other.  Now we audition the greens for the leaves.   80% of what the students thought would work at home have changed in class.  It may not be the best for the new flower they have just created.  

Now, what if we where painting with paint, not fabric?  Well, you can paint over paint until you get just the right color.  With the fusible you can peel the color off and change your mind.  You are auditioning a variety of choices to get your quilt looking just the way you want.  

The artist knows this intuitively but even the layman can learn the technique. When the color is right you will have a feeling.  Artists feel…sometimes too much.  Talk to me!  But go with it in your art.  This is how that feeling works.

 Your eyes perceive the color, that message goes into the brain and causes a chemical reaction, then the message shots down the body to the stomach,  turns around and then shoots  back up to your mouth and comes out as YUKKKK or AHHHH.  This is your brain, gut, intuition, telling you if it’s working or not.  It’s a FEELING and feeling in art is always good.

Now back to the power of green.  Greens come in hundreds of shades - just look outside at nature.  It can also set the mood you are trying to portray.  Example: visualize what color green you see when you are in Arizona?  There’s a look.  It’s the cool, light green and grayed greens of the desert cactus.    Which, when you use them in a quilt give you that southwestern look.  What about the greens in Hawaii?  Those are a deep blue green and yellow green, which give off a tropical feel.  So take your time when you use a green fabric when quilting and get the strongest AHHHH out of that green.  You may just win the next award!

Color Summer Yellow

Summer on the porch.

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.  ~James Dent or was that Joe Bula?

Ah summer! It’s here, with all its glory and fame.  Or is that Flame?

Its force and strength seems to over power the other seasons.  I seem to have forgotten all about my winter blues and my wet, damp, mope, spring.  “Is summer ever going to get here?” I would cry.  Well it's here and there is no going back.

So yesterday was a perfect day to put my hands and elbows, in the color yellow.  Yes, I was dying fabric kits for my upcoming classes.  How many values and shades of yellow can I make?  This was the theme of the day.  I even carefully wrote down my secret formulas, which I never really do.  I just seem to always be able to mix just the right colors.  But what if I have to have help?  How would I instruct someone to do my flower colors palate? That's a little scary.

My careful notes.

So I carefully made notes and slowly started the process, documenting all my steps.  Thanks God, Joe is out of town, so I could keep the mess up in the kitchen for a few days.  

Pumpkins

I also was trying to get the yellow of my pumpkins and cucumber blossom.  The cucumber is a little more bright yellow with a touch of green than the warm pumpkin yellow.

Cucumbers

Now for sunflower yellows.  There is really a wide range of sunflower shade out there.  Whenever I teach my sunflower class, it is always so interesting to see the yellow fabrics each student bring to make there sunflowers.  It always is a surprise.  They may be making the same pattern but they all turn out totally unique!  Just like the student in class. I love that!

Yes! red sunflowers

 In Huntsville, Alabama  it was brought to my attention that there are red sunflowers out there?  That will be for tomorrow.

Insperations

 I am getting ready to make my next quilt.   I was inspired again by the Monterey Bay.  The colors,  the sounds, the foggy mist, the flowers, the smells and the history.  I walked for a mile taking this all in. This week in Sisters I started collecting my fabrics.  This is how I start the process.  Art is in the process.

 The reflections

 It's not in the finished piece but every detail of the process. I tell my students to feel.  
So I also prepare to be surrounded by the feelings of that moment.  That "ah ha!" moment when you are moved to create.

Flowers I found in a secret garden.

Dinghies all lined up

Beach jewels.

 As I walked the beach I would see treasures under my feet. These sandy jewels feel so cool in my hand. 

Hair cuts of the 1709-1800's 

 Inspiration can come with the rich history of the region; in the Spaniards funny hair cuts. What where they thinking?

 I love the way the sailors dock their sail boats.  The tide changes their direction through out the day.

Nothing but Trouble!

   In Monterey there are secret gardens around every fenced gate. All are open to the public and filled with local  plants and flowers.

Wherever you look, there is inspirations to be found. Take it all in and then create.