Thursday, December 30, 2010

Happy New Years!

Its here! The new year. Time for a fresh start and new adventures. It really is like any other day - or is it?  January 1 has a new feeling to me and it also has a color, even some sparkle. It's like you just cleaned the spots off the window and the view is all new.  So what are we going to do with this new start?
Over the  holiday we where at a Christmas/engagement party and in walks a couple that Joe and I had a falling out with years ago.  They went to our church, in fact it was the pastor and his wife.  The wife did nothing to lead to the trouble, it was more between me and the pastor.  A difference of opinion and I just happened to be a woman. It tore our life up for years.  I worked so hard on how to forgive his cockiness and pride.  Joe was even more hurt than me and the 2 of us worked for at least 5 years on forgiving and that is not an easy job when your world comes crashing down around you.

So we go to this party and who walks in but the pastor and his lovely wife.  I instantly saw that he looked distressed and weaker than I had remembered him.  My heart softened and I knew I had forgiveness in my heart. Wow! So, I decided after some time to say hello and merry Christmas.   Surely he also had been working on the same forgiveness towards me -  he's a pastor.  The room was also full of our friends that also had been very affected by this fall out.

So I walked over as they where talking to my good friend and I said Merry Christmas and put my arm gently around him for a compassionate hug which he responded to by jerking his hip to dislodge me.   I turned to his wife who looked very uncomfortable but was gracious.  My friend smiled and was happy to see me say hello. I asked the pastor's wife about their new grandchildren and congratulated them on the additions to their family.  She stumbled for words and then someone grabbed my arm saying Mindy!  How are you? and I was thankfully whisked away.   I was so surprised but felt so proud of myself for taking the first step.  While I have forgiven,  he, unfortunately,  is still the same. Other party-goers who new the situation were also watching and I hope it was a big healing for them, too.  It was the period at the end of the book for me and Joe.  Now I see him as he is and he did hurt me and our family but God has healed us and blessed us and I can forgive and move on.

Life is an amazing journey.   Last year does affect the next year and so on but being unforgiving stops you in your tracks.  No growth can take place until you walk through the hurt to get to forgiveness.  I am often asked how I was able to reach for my dreams and it seems to me, when I look back,  it was the painful, difficult and hard places in my life that I had to go through that helped me grow.  I went through them, not around them. When I have gone around them I have had to go back and do it again.  By battling the hurts and pains of life, you work on moving forward to success in whatever your goals are.  There is no way I could stand up in front of hundreds of people and make a complete fool of myself  if I had not gone through the strengthening of life's hurts and battles.

I have new issues to deal with in the upcoming year but I can put this one to bed.  It may have taken 6 years but I have moved one step ahead.  Thank you God for listening and answering my prayers.  I pray for you as I pray for my family and myself that forgiveness will rule our lives this next year.  That doesn't mean you forget or always look the other way -  it means you open your heart so you can move forward.

Happy New Year!
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